Thursday, April 17, 2008

Losing Weight AGAIN!

Well here I am... Needing to lose weight once again. Most of you who really have known me all my life have known that I have struggled with my weight. I have had my ups and downs most of my life. I never was fat till I was about 10 years old. My dad died when I was 9 years old and I guess the weight started coming on then. I am not making excuses, but I do know that food is a comfort for me. It makes me feel better, at least I thought it did. I remember I got the flu when I was 13 and the weight came off then, I remember this because someone made a comment that I had lost weight and it was probably while I was sick. Boys were starting to notice me! So for my high school years I did pretty good at keeping it off. By my Senior year I had gained some weight but was able to take it off again. And so that was my roller coaster. Gain a few pounds take off a few pounds... lose weight, have a boyfriend, break up, get fat, lose weight, have a boyfriend, break up, gain weight... A roller coaster.

After Kyle and I got married and I found my best friend, boom the weight came on like gang busters! I think I finally thought, ok, now I can relax. Two kids later, I am still struggling. Before this I had never been this big! I had a doctor tell me, “That’s what everyone says.” Well dang it is true!

Believe it or not, I don’t really like to talk about being fat, I am very embarrassed about it, like I have done something really bad that I am ashamed of. Yes, I am ashamed. My brain thinks I am the only fat person on this earth! I think if I quietly lose the weight nobody will notice that I was ever fat! Right! But, now I am admitting what everyone already knows! And I suspect some people are talking about! Mela really needs to lose weight.

Why am I doing this? Because I want to grow old with Kyle. Because I want to run and play with my kids. I want to be healthy! Of course I want to look good for me! And look good for Kyle! Fortunately, I have a husband that truly loves me for who I am. I know he would love to see me thinner, but he doesn’t bother me about it. He still loves me fat or skinny! I am so grateful for that.

So here I go! Thankfully I am not alone. Kyle is joining the ranks with me! We are doing this together. Of course he doesn’t have as much to lose as I do, but that’s ok. So I have put a weight loss ticker on my blog. I want to lose 60 lbs, yep, that’s a lot, I know, I have a lot to lose! I have joined Weight Watchers online and have already lost 6 almost 7 lbs.

I am putting this out there for the world to see, hopefully I will be able to do this. I am trying to change my lifestyle one day at a time.

Above is a picture of Kyle & myself for ya’ll to see just how much weight I have gained. And for those of you who didn't know me before, one of my favorite pictures of Kyle and me walking out of the Snowflake Temple after we got married. If I lose 60 lbs I will actually be 15 lbs thinner then my wedding day.

Wish me luck!


KC Photo said...

You are great Mela!!

Becky Taylor said...

Mela, congrats for being brave enough to talk about it. We all love you, no matter what! As you know, I'm trying to lose weight too, so I'm here if you ever need someone to comiserate with! Good luck! :)

Heidi said...

Paint me blind, but before I read any of your post, I thought I'd comment on how thin your face looked in your second picture!

You have to be annoyed w/ husbands that are okay w/ chunky wives! Mine has that same problem...he could take it or leave it with me! Which is probably why I've been so relaxed...but I heard somewhere that nothing tastes as good as thin feels...and I don't mean stick thin, either!

Good luck w/ your program! I just started my running back up, too! So hopefully I'm not too far behind!

Erin Fast said...

Good luck Mela! How nice that Kyle is doing this with you.
I love seeing the pictures of your cute family. Keep posting pictures :)